Black and White

I said if you're thinkin' of
being my brother
it don't matter if you're
Black Or White

These were lines in Michael Jackson's Black or White, a song that tackles racism and how it affects humanity. If there are two things I share in common with MJ, it would be his love for God and his eagerness to know people from all walks of life.

Being an expatriate, I had my share of unpleasant treatments but those are minimal compared to the hearty welcome I get from other nationals. As I wrote some weeks back, what you do is something that your kids will pick up and imitate. If you show respect and kindness, your kids would surely follow. I not only tell my kids to be nice, I show them how to be nice to others. I'm glad that as early as now, they look beyond skin color. They are not color-blind but they don't see having light skin greater than being brown.

I took this photo of my older son with his classmates; Austrians, Polnish, Nigerian and/or interracial. This was during their visit at the Schönbrunn zoo to which I went as a guardian along with other parents. I got along well with a Nigerian dad during the trip, aside from him I got lots of Nigerian friends; they are a bunch of the nicest people I know. 

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Being nice is not always easy though. At times, I feel the same way as the psalmist A'saph did. "For I became envious of the boasters, [When] I would see the very peace of wicked people." (Psalms 73:3) I see some being happy and peaceful with their attitude - their spouting racial slurs against others. It's as though doing such gives them a sense of enjoyment while I feel bad that I don't enjoy it with them. It is certainly easier to be wicked than righteous.

At one point, I boarded a bus along with my two boys and there stood a kid with her mom. (I can't be sure but judging from their features they must be from Western Europe.)  We sat on the nearest spot by the door, which is just by the open area where the mom and the kid stood. The kid kept looking at us perhaps trying to figure out what our nationality is. Since both boys got their chinky eyes from their grandpa (from Singapore), they are mostly thought of as either Japanese or Chinese. The kid gestured slanting eyes. I ignored her and my kids not knowing what it meant didn't bother. I don't take offense for that. For once or twice; it's fine but it got annoying...nice as I am I looked at the kid warily so she would get the message, I looked at the mom too but she was nonchalant - a perfect example of kids learning from their parents, if the mom think it ok then the kid will think there's nothing wrong with what she's doing. Well, it's that or perhaps the mom doesn't know what slanting eyes mean and that the kid herself has no idea.  :(

My daughter with my friend's daughter (Peruvian-Austrian), 2009.

I make sure my kids meet a lot of interracial children...I bring my daughter along whenever I meet up with my Spanish-speaking friend and her daughter. I met her in German class and we hit it off as I can speak a bit with her in her mother tongue. She is also a foodie, she enjoys the adobo I cook. :D Our daughters get along well, we would bring them to the park, we would eat together, The two of them would play while my friend I talk endlessly about taxes, our family, our family back home and most of all, we compare Spanish and Tagalog words. lol.

Daughter goofing around with her closest friend, a mestiza -Filipino-Austrian.

My daughter's closest friend is a 6-year-old who lives 15 minutes from us. I allow her to sleep over only at their place because I trust her parents 100%.  Her mom is Austrian and her dad is Pinoy (which people find amusing as it's usually an Austrian dad-Pinoy mom tandem)...I don't easily trust but her dad is one of, if not the most, trustworthy dads out there.

Little boy with ate and kuyas (Pinoys) and another ate (Japanese-Austrian), 2008.

Teaching kids about racial differences means the openness to talk about it. Not talking about racism is the same as you avoiding it. An expert once said that sometimes we think that if we talk about issues of race with our children, we are making them notice race in a way that they did not before...perhaps; but if we talk about it like any other things and positively then they will absorb it that way. 

Telling them that what makes a person is the inside and not the outside will make them look at people for who they are. Most importantly, telling them about God's love for diversity is the same...just like the flowers which were created in different colors, smell and form, we humans have our own beauty and characteristic that sets us apart from others. We are after all created in his likeness, we are of the same mold no matter if we are black, white, yellow, pink or brown.

(My brother and sisters in faith; a diversity of culture from the Philippines, Mexico, Austria, Nigeria, Romania and the US...one Father no matter if our skin colors are brown, black or white).

 I think I thought my kids the lesson well when I decided to live a multicultural life.

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Teaching siblings to watch each other's backs

Kids spend most of their time with their siblings than others. It is in this stage that they develop relationships and skills in interacting with others. Kids argue and have conflicts first with their siblings before they argue with their parents or playmates. What they fight about are petty reasons in an adult's point of view but for them every issue is a biggie! A parent, through positive interaction, can teach each of the kids to view the other person's perspective so that he or she will learn how to be compassionate and control his or her own temper when faced with conflict. By ironing out issues among each other, kids learn to know more about themselves and their siblings. The bond that they develop in smoothing things out will be stronger than a blood compact.

I've always wondered what relationship Abel and Cain had. It would have been ideal if siblings today live with the thought I am my brother's keeper opposed to Cain's thinking.

How does one teach kids to take care of his brother or sister?

Teach Emphaty. Make them step on the other's shoes. Ask questions to make them see the other's point of view. By doing so they will realize how it feels to be the other person.

Don't Accuse. This is not an easy task, I have problems teaching my kids to not assume negatively of others and that they have no bad intention against them. Was I born with a thinking influenced by Thomas Hobbes? The key is to be calm and don't be on either's side. You are stepping on two different shoes too.

Listen. Time and again, what toddlers (even adults) need is a listening ear.  If you don't listen, one of them would pick on a sibling to get your attention. Your 100% attention will also teach them that listening  smooths out problems.

Be Role Models. Shout and they shout, be calm and they would follow. Kids learn a lot from seeing and hearing, so parents should be careful with their own dealings. If they sense that mom is always there for dad and vice versa, they will know that being their sibling's support is the right thing to do.

Play and learn. Going out to the playground, biking, picking flowers and stones are some of the things my kids enjoy doing together. They also like doing arts and crafts. They enjoy each others' company and show cooperation when doing the aforementioned activities. In the process, they  pull out the potential of each. A positive rivalry of sorts.

Arguments, rivalry and apathy are all part of childhood. A little bit red, a cup of orange, a dash of yellow, a teaspoon of green, a pinch of blue, a dollop of indigo frosted in violet makes childhood meaningful, colorful and fun! You just need to sprinkle rainbow candies on top to make everything a little sweeter than usual. :)

Looking forward to summer

Pink Sakura by our place.

Sakura/Cherry blossoms are my favorite flowers, I love taking photos of them. Despite spring allergies, I'd get lots of shots even as buds or even when every single petal has falllen on the ground. Sakuras are a main attraction in Japan when spring comes...there's Hanami or flower-viewing that I would want to experience soon...but our plans are for summer. We plan on visiting Japan come summer....just planning. :D So we won't see the blossoms then. I'm doing my own Hanami here. :)

Unagi no Kabayaki / Barbecued eel

We'd definitely fill not just our eyes but our tummies too with our favorite Japanese dishes.Kabayaki eel is particularly in my mind. Since  this is nutritious, and is a stamina-generating food, I included it in my diet...had it been cheaper I'll eat unagi everyday. :D Many people in Japan still follow customs from the Edo period to eat kabayaki during the summer, especially on a particular day called "doyo-no ushi-no-hi", which is in mid-summer. I would want to experience that too!

Chirasizushi - to die for!

Where else to get the freshest sashimi but where it originated from...Japan's resources of tuna, salmon, butterfish and even sea urchin are vast...If you have been watching the Dotch cooking show, you will see how  dedicated they are in upholding their cuisines. They'd go 7 days straight into the sea just to find a certain type of tuna. They'd go diving longer than a normal person just to find the most unique eel...I admire their dedication. Despite the quakes, my desire to visit hasn't declined. My hopes are up and if given the chance I'll meet up with fellow bloggers, Joanna, Bambi and Mommy Clang. :)

We'd also go cosplaying with them! ;) We'll visit Shinjuku and take photos of Lolitas and Otakus, buy the cheapest lens at Akihabara and perhaps climb up Mt. Fuji and the Tokyo Tower. It's free to dream, to plan a plan is free as well, and if the money comes, I'd be really thankful! What are your plans this summer? Let's all enjoy!

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A post for Kayni's giveaway and the following memes:

Congratulations!

I remember back in school we had recognition days allocated for kids finishing grades 1-5, this is like the equivalent for the graduating class only they will still be in school the following year. If I'm not mistaken, it is called "moving-up" nowadays...please correct me if I'm wrong. This event is to recognize kids for their achievements in class, character development and extra-curricular activities. Back then I had my share of receiving medals and certificates; for being an honor student, for topping the Spelling Bee or the Bible Quiz or for being "behaved." I never got an award related to numbers except for being Best in Numbers when I was a 6-year-old in kindergarten class. lol. Somehow, I know I made my parents proud...

Looking at it now, I think award-giving does not only boost kids' morale but it feeds parents' egos as well. Don't get me wrong, I think such awards are beneficial too but I don't like that some of those left without an award are affected by the fact that they didn't get any. I think competition in this sense is unhealthy. :( I might be wrong but that's just my opinion. Being on top of class has it perks, you get to be a scholar, you get to have a say...but I think I also learned that ability and strategy in life (speaking from experience) matter, a lot.

Since schools here doesn't have such recognitions and awards I find that my kids doesn't have this pressure to be ahead of the others. They learn and study and play at the same time. Since the theme is scheduled for March I thought that it is timely to show recognition and graduation photos...I have none but to all of you moms, Congratulations to your little one! 

Lourdes Parish Church, Tagaytay City, July 2010

Today, I'm relating the theme to the same wedding event I featured last week. I know, it sounds odd but my older brother was the last of us three to get married. Too bad that my dad wasn't able to witness his unico hijo walk down the aisle (he passed away June of 2009). 

The photo above shows us without the bride (sister-in-law). That would be D, my youngest at the farthest side; MG, my nephew carried by my brother-in-law; my older sister, my mom, my brother, my daughter and I (in gray) and hubby and his look-alike, our older son.

Taal Vista Hotel, July 2010

Here you'll see sister-in-law and our uncle (mom's brother) included. It may take some more years before we get the chance to have a family photo again...Congratulations to my Kuya and his wife...not just for tying the knot but for the new blessing coming their way! (Heard the wonderful news yesterday.)

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Purple!

(goofing around at the city center)

Yesterday's meme had Pink for the theme. Today, it's purple. Both of these colors tend to be associated with girls...so dawty would be the subject of today's post again. :) I had to rummage my file photos to find a solo shot...nada.

The beanie she wears is actually mine. I let her have it since it fits her down jacket perfectly...well they're of the same shade obviously!

I then opened a facebook album looking for a particular photo when I saw this; a solo, finally!

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Green

One of the beauty of living close to nature is, it brings a feeling of comfort, peace and freshness. Couple green with blue and there...almost paradise.

The word green comes from the Old English word grēne, or, in its older form, grœni. This adjective is closely related to the Old English verb grōwan (“to grow, turn green”), which in its wonted usage referred primarily to plants.

I grew up in the province surrounded by luscious greens, blue sky and fresh air. Where fruits can be picked directly from the trees abundant in the yard. Where plants and flowers grow effortlessly under the basking glory of the sun.

I miss the greens especially because where we are at this time of the year, we mostly see gray. So here's a look at last summer vacation's green adventures.

Photos taken during the prenuptial shoot of my older brother and his ex-girlfriend -- now wife in Tagaytay; a few minutes from home...Tagaytay has a different and more beautiful landscape but still there's that familiar warmth that home gives, where I would always run to, a place I welcome with an ardent embrace.

Older bro (kuya) with my daughter on his shoulder and my older son tagging along.

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Orange

"Foods high in bad fats, sugar and chemicals are directly linked to many negative emotions, whereas whole, natural foods rich in nutrients - foods such as fruits, vegetables, grains and legumes - contribute to greater energy and positive emotions."

Hello Mommies! I miss joining Mommy Moments. Due to the lack of creative juices, I'll try to squeeze some ideas from these literal oranges.

With the quote above in my mind, the hubby and I will be taking a road far from what we used to travel...we're limiting the intake of negative emotion foods and leaning more to the positive ones. The kids still need meat so I prepare food especially catered for them. When it comes to sweets, we are a little linient with them. As you have seen from my previous posts, I bake with them and have fun doing cakes, fondant and decorating.

I miss my chubby kiddos. When they were younger, they have chubby cheeks that people want to pinch...myself included. While it is never good that kids don't get sick (it is good to build up their immune system), it is hard when they do. The past week they got "almost" flu, this week it's scarlet fever. :( Dawty got the virus and has to stay home. Hopefully  the two boys won't follow suit. This is why I've stacked up on fruits especially oranges for a week-long supply of vitamin C. ;)

Orange along with yellow means summer for us! These are some photos of our getaway some summers ago in Italy...and here I thought my kids don't have orange stuff but well, they do!

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Piano lessons

I'm glad that my daughter enjoys playing the piano. She has been doing lessons for 3 semesters now and can play Beethoven's Für Elise and a handful more. 

What I really like about her learning the piano is she herself teaches her younger brother. :) Sometimes, she could be strict with it but my son learns a lot anyway. Happy mommy moments!

Big Things

One big eye!

The little boy didn't get scared of Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc.) but he surely was schocked to see Sulley. He didn't get near any other mascots after being scared by Sulley.

Giant Chipmunk!

Chip or Dale? Your guess is as good as mine. :D We can't tell them apart...though the other chipmunk can be seen on this photo too. Can you distinguish one from the other?

That's Daddy with two of the bigger kids and big Mickey behind... (Disneyland Resort Paris)

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So Little!

This age is far different from when I was little. Back then we use films for photos, we get them printed and mounted on frames or in photo albums. That doesn't guarantee them from getting moist and eventually the images fade. That is why half of my heart is thankful that now we can store photos and files with a click of the mouse. They can also be printed as photobooks which lasts longer than photos in albums. The other half of me misses manual cameras, dark rooms and printing my own photos there...I am after all, an old-school photographer. So here are some of the photos of my kids I stored and turned into digiscraps...It would be nice to get this printed too, no?

My daughter has a signature smile...that without showing her teeth but just thinning her lips. She still smiles like this and very seldom that she would show her teeth in a photo. Nope, she has no idea yet who Gwyneth Paltrow is. :)  (Photos taken when she was 15-months-old, 13-months-old and 3-years-old.)

My second was a very happy baby...most of his photos are like this baby shot always with eyes so chinky.We call him kengkoy (silly) until now. Yet he could be serious too when he wants to as you see in the other photo. (Photos taken when he was 7-months-old and 6-years-old)

This is my youngest. He was so serious when he was a baby as opposed to his older brother. I remember how he wouldn't budge even if he gets tickled. He wouldn't even giggle over a funny face.  He gradually changed and himself a kengkoy now. (Photos taken when he was 7-months-old and almost 4.)

3 on 3.

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Motherly advice

Random thoughts on parenthood and child rearing.

“Be obedient to your parents,” and “honor your father and your mother.”—Ephesians 6:1, 2 .
“Do not despise your mother just because she has grown old.” Proverbs 23:22

Before being parents to our children, we are children to our own parents. The advice above is one that  I keep even now, it is after all, the first command with a promise...‘That it may go well with you and you may endure a long time on the earth,’ continues the proverb.

At this age, obeying our parents or the elderly seem to be be an out of trend thing, sadly. Times have changed and if you observe closely, children are much more hard-headed than we once were. :) So even at our age, honoring our parents is still a timely advice. This is so because when our kids see we respect our own parents, it will be a good example for them...and we both will benefit later on.

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“Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. How happy is the man whose quiver is filled with them!” (Psalm 127:4, 5, An American Translation)

The value of an arrow is determined by how well it is aimed as it leaves the bow. An arrow must be aimed with care and skill so that it will hit the target. In like manner, it is vital that, as parents, you wisely and prayerfully ponder on the kind of start in life you will give your child. Will he or she on leaving your care become a balanced and mature adult, respected by others and an honor to God? How many more years do you have to learn the outcome? I have about 10 and I fervently hope when the time comes I can proudly say, I did it right!

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Children too need to feel appreciated. Not that parents should shower them with empty flattery, but they should commend their children’s praiseworthy qualities and the genuine good that they do. Wise parents likewise find ways to express appreciation for each child’s unique qualities, abilities, and accomplishments. At the same time, they try not to emphasize accomplishments so much that their children constantly feel driven to perform. They do not want their children to grow up exasperated or downhearted.—Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21.

Spend Time With Your Kids

The Bible says: “As apples of gold in silver carvings is a word spoken at the right time for it.” (Proverbs 25:11) As this scripture makes clear, timing is often the key. We need to learn to read between the lines...and be a shoulder the children could lean on...

You'd think that I'm a lazy person, that I do not want to work and I leave all the money-raising to hubby...

Let's analyze, say I go to work from 9-5...little boy would be at the daycare until 3 while my 2 older kids would be in school from 8 to 12 (sometimes 1). They would  then go to the the after-school institution (Hort) to eat lunch,do some homework, play and at times have field trips. The hort is open until 5:30 in the afternoon so there would be 30 minutes to go rushing and pick them up...how about the little boy? Oh, we just had to pay a babysitter to pick him up and stay with him at home for 2-3 hours more.

What about dinner? If you pay the babysitter extra bucks then maybe she can cook and iron the clothes too and clean the house as well...so where would my paycheck go anyway? lol.

Point is, I do not need to sacrifice my time to work long hours then pay for a babysitter and helper when I can do home work myself. True, we never get paid for doing the things we do at home...working moms seem to be tougher than us staying at home...but at the end of the day, I can proudly say "today, I cooked sinigang that the kids enjoyed so well!"

I know, my time will come, when my kids grow a bit bigger, when they can go home from school on their own, when they're allowed to have house keys, I will have my own time. For the mean time, I'm a stay at home mom and I will stay to be one until the right time comes.

P.S. (Paid blogging is helpful by the way...) ;)

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Share your thoughts!

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Blue

Meet my youngest, D, or who we lovingly call taba. He's not that chubby as he was but at age 4 he still has baby fats tucked here and there. One of our friendly neighbors used "stark" as a description for him, it translates to the same english word meaning sturdy...In fact, the blue jacket he's wearing is for kids aged 6!

These photos were taken earlier today, I am planning to enter a contest and I'm choosing which to send between these two. Help mommies! Kindly write A for the first picture and B for the second picture. Thanks a lot!

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Happy mommy moments!

Red

Red is my favorite color. :) Most of my stuff are red and it's the motif of  our humble abode. Some of you may remember the photo I used as my badge.  I set the shoot in our dining/living room with the red wall as background. It wasn't easy getting that shot as the little boy, playful as he is, wouldn't take the shoot seriously.

Still, all of us had fun that time...unfortunately for the fruits, they all ended up bitten by the little boy. And as it turned out, that photo I use for the badge became my favorite photo of them, one that has been of much use in print and once in TV.

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(inside the tram)

Meet kuya C, the most kengkoy among my kids. Red is his color, he looks most handsome in red ala little Red Riding Hood! ;)

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Some of the food we enjoy the most, Black forest cherry cake (my recipe and not the sour german version) and Chirashizushi...where's the red there? The surimi, lol and beni shouga (pickled red ginger) and because the tuna slices are so fresh they are reddish-pink! (Click on photo for related recipe/story.)

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