Auf Wiedersehen - Litratong Pinoy

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Ganito ang hitsura ng aking bunso kapag nalulungkot, namamasang  mata at may patak ng  mga luha sa pisngi. Bakit nga ba tayo umiiyak? Scientifically, lacrimation daw ang tawag doon. Sa mga hayop ito ay upang manatiling basa ang kanilang mga mata, para sa mga tao naman ay dala ng emosyon...tao lang ang may kakaibang katangian na umiyak kung nalulungkot o nasaktan. Ang ating luha ay may taglay na Prolactin isang uri ng hormone na nakakapagparelax sa taong umiiyak, Adrenocorticotropic na tumutulong na mabawasan ang stress at Leucine enkephalin, ito naman ay natural na pain killer.

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Nitong mga nakaraang linggo, madaming luha ang literal na binuhos ko. Ayaw ko man pero alam kong darating din ang araw na kailangan kong sulatin ang ganito, hindi para sa iba kundi para sa aking sarili. Sabi ng bestfriend ko, "You'll never know the importance of someone until you lose him." Totoo naman, parang yung kasabihan na laging nasa huli ang pagsisi. Ayoko sanang umuwi ng Pinas ng may malungkot na dahilan. Lalo na dahil malayo ang biyahe, alam kong maraming bagay akong maalala tungkol sa Daddy ko.

Ganun yata talaga pag namatay ang isang tao, puro magagandang alaala niya ang matititira at halos lahat ng bagay na makikita mo parang nagpapaalala sa kanya. Nag-aayos pa lamang kami ng gamit ganito na ang pakiramdam ko, hinahanap ko noon ang kandado ng maleta, napaluha lang ako ng makita ko iyon kasama ang mga susi na ito sa litrato. Bakit kamo? ang mga susi kasi na ito ay sa maleta ni Daddy, ibinigay nya sakin iyon noong una akong nagpunta sa Vienna, iyon din ang mga maleta na ginagamit nya noong siya ay bumabyahe bilang seaman. Dahil sa Daddy ko kaya ako nagkahilig na makapunta din sa iba ibang lugar.....gustong gusto ko din kasi marating ang mga lugar na nakikita ko sa mga litratong ipinapadala nya sa akin noon.

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Mahirap pa din para sa akin na tanggapin hindi ko na uli makikita si Daddy. Tao lang naman akong nalulungkot kahit na alam kong pagdating ng panahon ay makikita ko uli siya (Job 14:12-15 and  John 5:28-29).  Sa dalawampung walong taon kasi ng buhay ko, madalang yung nakasama ko siyang naglalakad na akay akay niya ako dahil nga madalas naman siyang nasa ibang bansa, tapos nangibang bansa pa ako 7 taon na ang nakakaraan. Pero sabi nga ni H (si hubby), tanggapin ko daw ang naging desisyon ni Daddy sa buhay niya dahil siguradong naging masaya siya sa buhay na yon, kasi natapos naman niya ang misyon at obligasyon niya sa amin. Iyon ay nang inakay niya kami na makapagtapos ng pag-aaral, na umayos ang buhay at magkapamilya.

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Hindi man sinabi ni Daddy, alam kong pareho ng pangarap niya ang pangarap ko. Ang makitang buo, masaya ang aking pamilya at ang aking mga anak ay mapalaki sa tamang panuntunan. Imposible ba ito? Hindi. Isipin man natin na iba na talaga ang panahon ngayon, nasa tamang paggabay pa din ng mga magulang kung paano hahasain ang kagandahang asal. Gusto ko ding magampanan ang misyon ko bilang ina sa aking mga anak.

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Pasensiya na at humaba ang kwento, kilala mo ba ang lugar na ito (sa baba)? Dito lang, masaya akong nagpupunta kasama ni Daddy at Mama at mga kapatid ko, sa Duty Free shops (pero yung luma). Kapag nasa Ninoy Aquino International airport,  dalawang emosyon ang nararamdaman ko lagi. Una yung lungkot kapag aalis na si Daddy dahil alam kong ilang taon na naman ang bibilangin ko para makita siya uli.....tapos excitement kasi pauwi na siya ulit, magkikita na kami at siguradong may pasalubong siya sa akin, kung hindi naman pupunta uli kami sa duty free shops...

Ganoon naman lagi, lungkot kapag maghahatid at aalis, saya kapag sumusundo at babalik. Napaisip ako pagdating sa NAIA...dito ko lang kasi huling nakita si Daddy nung hinatid niya kami (taong 2005) ng pabalik kami ng Vienna. Nakakalungkot, wala siya para salubungin kami nung umuwi, nakakalungkot din hindi nya kami naihatid ngayon kahit sa airport at lalong masakit isipin, hindi na din siya sasalubong sa susunod na pag-uwi namin. Sa isang banda, parang ganun din ang paglisan niya, parang umalis lamang at nagpunta sa ibang bansa...maghihintay ako na muli siyang gumising pagtawag ng Diyos, doon sa panahong sinasabi sa Revelation 21:4 "And HE will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.”

Hindi ko napigilan...basa ang aking mga mata at pisnging sumakay ng eroplano...

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My dad's favorite song, I like old songs because of him...Auf wiedersehen...maghihintay lang ako.

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Down Memory Lane

Tonight, at the Sofitel Philippine Plaza, I'm sure these familiar faces were in an occasion full of stories and laughter, food, photos, drinks, more stories and more laughter. Catching up with stories of each others' lives, smiling for the camera and mingling with some of the known Philippine literati. It is after all, the 80th ValikVarsi, the alumni homecoming of the Varsitarian, the University of Santo Tomas' official publication. I would have loved to attend and it really saddens me that I can't.

I have loved reading and writing even as a child, I joined the schoolpaper in gradeschool writing kiddie poems in Tagalog and English. In highschool, my articles got published when I was a freshman but not yet a staffer. When I became a staffer and given the title of editor....I don't really remember editing submitted articles, worse, I write feature stories in English when I was supposed to be the Filipino editor. =P

In 4th year highschool, I have decided on what to take in College and which University to enter. I took the entrance exams in UST and only in UST.

My college life wasn't exactly boring but it became meaningful and thrilling from the day I took the qualifying exams of the Varsitarian, I was in 3rd year college then (talk about being too late). I was included in the special batch, meaning we did not go through the rigid interviews and writing exams as the regular batch did. Short story goes, I somehow passed along with 4 other classmates, Rube Bloom Rule, Trina Lagura, Ma. Theresa Fucanan and Anna Barbara Lorenzo. Names which one might encounter while reading newspapers, magazines or online articles. There were also Aileen Rae Perez and Michelle Dompor, names you'd see on TV and ads.

Back in those days, attending classes (almost) became second priority...=D Practice is better than theories, so to say. Inside Room 112 of the UST Main Building, I've had hands on experience of what a journalist's life is; phonecalls, schedules, interview, recorder, notepad, notes transcription, interview, and more interview...dressing up on functions, sleeping on floors or not sleeping at all...moonlighting, beating the deadline but most especially: darkroom techniques ! I discovered my 'eye' while still a V staffer and I immediately transferred to the photography section.

Each of us matured and grew inside the V, be it in writing, friendships or relationships (???). Friendship did not remain inside the walls of the V. Since we come from different colleges and majors...there is a diversity of characters and humor. We also had so much fun when outside the office. Trips to Batangas, Palawan or simply pigging out (day or night) at Goodah!, Wendy's, and other 24-hour service foodshop...or more sophisticated Chinese restos when Sir Lito (Zulueta, PDI) was with us.

We graduated from college eventually, took on different career paths, left pinas, got married, lost communication but the memory remains.

One of our colleagues died recently and A (in photo wearing striped shirt) immediately send me a message...I may have been far away but the loss still pains me somehow.

It may have been short but I always look back smiling, yearning to be once again in the confines of the V office. Hurrying to the conference hall with my Canon t60 in hand..hurrying to meet up with the writer to cover the UAAP...hurrying to get use of the pcs to beat the deadline but would carefully mix the chemicals to develop the films and expose the negative correctly for fine prints. I am always thankful for the memories and lasting friendships.

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Photo 1. Bennet, Jayme, Bloom, Terry, Jean, Leah, G, Barbs on the morning before we left for Punta Baluarte.

Photo 2. That's me trying to schedule an interview. Taken inside our then V office, with Leah by the door.

Photo 3. At Mine's View Park, Baguio City...G, A and Carli.

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Found: A's Valik Varsi article.

80th Valik Varsi - Varsitarian's Alumni Homecoming

A call to the Amihans!

Calling all alumni of the University of Santo Tomas' Official School Publication. ValikVarsi is scheduled on January 19, 6:00pm at the Sofitel Philippine Plaza Manila.

Too bad, there was short notice for us to contribute photos and art stuff for the galleries but I guess attendance is ok. For those who would be able to attend...I'd be really glad to see photos and stuff later on (no, im not demanding)! =D

For inquiries visit: http://www.valikvarsi.com